It's Time!!!!

So I decided it's time. Time for what you might ask? Well it's time for a lot for me, but for starters it's time for me to move forward. I mean really let go of some negative people and things. By holding onto this negativity I've held myself back. You can never blame anyone but yourself for not moving forward. You know how I told you I was just stuck and afraid to fail so therefore I only did enough to get by. Change is not the easiest thing to handle. Sometimes I just feel alone. Alone to fight all these battles and conquer the world. I've armed myself with every tool I know so it's time to go out here and see what I'm capable of. The pains of life became too much for me to bare so I packed on the pounds so that I could hide from the world and ultimately myself.

There is nothing to fear but fear itself but sometimes I feel trapped by the poor decisions I made in the past and sometimes the present. I no longer want to be limited by my body or my thoughts of failure. The only failure I face now is the failure to not try. I used to be so worried about everyone not supporting me but as time has passed I've learned to be grateful for those that do and not worry about those that don't. Why wouldn't you want to see the next person succeed? What do you stand to gain in their failure? I know I'm cut from a different clothe and that doesn't mean I'm always right or perfect. I just recognize that the quickest way to be blessed in your own life is to first help someone else. Yes, I'm venting. I'm mad at myself for sabotaging my weightloss efforts and gaining 11 of those 30 pounds back. I'm disappointed also that there isn't enough support in "our community" for one another. Too much of the "crab" mentality. I'm not saying this applies to everyone I just want everyone, including myself to consider our actions and how we treat others.

Just like bugs at night that are drawn to the light I'm drawn to a higher calling and people that want something more in life and that have compassion and a willingness to help others. I'm done with foolishness, self-doubt, fear, and anything that inhibits me from living to my fullest potential. I want everyone to be successful if they are really trying, I want people to be more humane, I want to live in a society where people aren't killed for no apparent reason. Then, I realize that life is no fairytail and people including myself can only be who they truly are. We don't live in a perfect world or perfect bodies. We live with the opportunities that we create and the choices we make.

Success be it weight loss, career, family, or whatever you define success as is not given it is earned. I used to be so upset when I was told that I choose to be fat. Really? Yeah really! It's true, everyday that I choose not to eat right or exercise and care for my body I choose to be fat. It's a tough pill to swallow but I recognize that it's time to change again and I'm ready. I want more and you should too!!! It's time!!