I AM ME!!!!

Okay, I didn't forget about you, but last week was very hectic. My daughter had pneumonia and I had to nurse her back to health. I'm learning so much about myself during this time. My core is the same but there are so many changes happening within and around me. First, I was raised by my parents to be very loving and caring. Second, I was also raised to be fearless and to fight for my dreams and beliefs. My mother taught me to be loving, patient, and kind amongst other things and my father taught me to brave and to know when to fight for what I want in life.

With this combination you have the wonderful makeup of the woman who is present today, which is ME! If I had a dime or a nickel every time someone told me how confident I am and they wish they could be this confident, I'd be a rich woman right now. I'm not being cocky but I am making a point, stick with me. You have to understand that though I openly discuss my insecurities with my body and my struggle with FOOD, I was taught to love myself regardless of what imperfections I may have. This was powerful for me but I didn't realize it until I was grown, exactly what my parents had instilled in me.

No one is perfect, at least no one I know. We all have things about ourselves that we want to change. However, I have more things about myself that I like than the things I don't. I AM ME.... Period. Wonderfully made and happy about who I've turned out to be and who I'm becoming. When I write I understand that I'm not writing just for myself, I'm writing for every other person who has experienced things that they want to change in their lives about themselves. The key to any change is first excepting the current things in your life and appreciating where you are.

As you know I have tried everything on the market, I'm almost like a Guinea pig lol. I have these hypnosis Cd's and in them the coach explains that you have to appreciate and love the body you are in because ultimately that is the same body you will be in when you do loose weight. You have to love all those curves and lumps lol. Now that was hard, because I have always looked at the changes I wanted rather than what I loved about my body. Changing the perception of my body has made the difference for me.  I love myself whether I'm tall or short and big or small. I AM ME!!!!

”I haven’t failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” - Thomas Edison

Eating my stress!!!!!

Okay so yesterday I wasn't able to talk you all because my daughter is sick with pneumonia (insert sad face). She's doing a little better now. With that added stress and worry I think we all know what I turned to, yep that tasty demon; FOOD! I mean really Charmaine, here we go again. It wasn't horrible but I did eat some greasy fast food that I didn't need. I'm an emotional eater. With this blog I try to show how much of a struggle it is to conquer food addiction and weight loss.

Moving right along, I have to say that you are going to fall and hit bumps in the road because no one is perfect. You just have to want your dream or vision more than temporary desires. I want to inspire the world and change lives but I know I have to do that for myself first. There isn't always going to be a blueprint so sometimes we have to create our own structure and start from there.

I ate my stress yesterday and at the time it tasted soooo good. It wasn't until after I got done that I realized what I'm doing to body and health. Same story over and over and over again.

Anyway, I'm tired of even talking about it now. Let's change the tone somewhat. I'm a very independent person and I'm usually the last one who will ask anyone for anything and I've just learned over the past few months that life will put you in positions where you need to depend on others. It's very humbling but I have learned what my mother has told me for years and that is; you can't live in this world alone. So true, that's a wise woman. I just have so much love and concern for the people that have been there for me through the good and the bad. Life is no bed of roses but when you have great people around you lifting you up constantly it does make a huge difference.

I have the support and encouragement to conquer all obstacles in my life. The question is now will I actually use it.

Back By Popular Demand!!!!!

Okay, okay, okay. I know it's been months since I left you with a post. I'm back now!!!! With a little nudge from friend/sis we're back in business. Wow, so much has happened since I've been away. I first have to say thank you for the emails and the requests to start back blogging. It means more to me than you know. So thank you to my followers and the people that have been faithful to me. Just like usual I have a lot to say and yes, I still have the same struggle....OBESITY!!!!!!!!!! Yeah I'm yelling, because it would feel so good to have conquered this little demon by now. Life has so many different obstacles and challenges that we all have to face. You may not struggle with your weight but I'm sure you have something because we all do.

Life has truly humbled me and I've experienced so much that my emotions have been all over the place. You all know me I'm very candid and say exactly what I think especially when it pertains to me. If you have followed the blog you know that I'm an emotional eater. The greatest to the smallest thing can trigger these emotions and I'm back craving all that demonized delicious food lol. You all also know that I'm just a tiny little bit dramatic.

Here's today's story. I had an epiphany tonight. I want to live out loud and not be afraid of all the what ifs in life??? Why not just loose weight and go do the things you know will bring you fulfillment?? I wish it were that easy but I'm fighting again and it is definitely a FIGHT. So it's 8:15 p.m and I've already eaten dinner which was a chicken sandwich and I don't know why I thought that would satisfy me without any vegetables or sides. Anyhow, I got hungry (go figure) and I decided that the quickest thing to fix would be some popcorn shrimp. My taste buds were ready!! As soon as I picked up the bag that little loud voice said WAIT!!! Why not just eat some fruits and veggies? So without hesitations I'm eating the fruit and really enjoying it, but now I'm done and something in me although I'm not hungry, still wants that damn shrimp. Sorry to be so blunt but this is real!!

I immediately stopped to identify the emotions I was feeling that I had ignored as I normally do and I realized that at that very moment I felt lonely, unaccomplished, and a little depressed. WOW!! I hadn't even taken the time to completely identify what I was feeling. Immediately, I acknowledged those emotions and I regained control over myself. What a feeling, knowing that maybe with a little hard work and fight. I can conquer this monster that is trying to claim and steal my life.

No more hoping and wishing it's time for the hard facts and I'm facing them one meal at a time. I'm back and it feels good to live again. Breath by breath and meal by meal it's my time and I'm ready. The question is, is the world ready for me?? Ready or not here I come new and improved!!