Today I just feel ummmm... what's the word I'm looking for? FABULOUS!!! Sure, we could argue that I should feel like this everyday but hey I don't. Today I'm on top of the world and I couldn't feel any better. I got back on track from the last time we talked lol (insert side wink). It always changes my mood when I'm taking care of myself. Ladies, NEVER let anyone try to make you feel like you aren't the queen that you are! I know life can get hectic, trust me I'm the captain of team busy/hectic. If I went through a normal day's schedule you wouldn't believe it and I still take time to show you all some love! Yeah I'm tooting my own horn...Beep Beep! We have to sometimes and there is nothing wrong with realizing exactly how fabulous you are at ANY size.
You have to keep positive people around you and surround yourself with people who encourage and support you. That's one of the first keys to being fabulous. Don't have people around you who are constantly dragging your spirit down and have nothing positive to speak in your life. There are times where you have no other choice but to surround yourself with people who are like this and when it happens go in your zone and tune the negativity out. Being fabulous is not all about looks it's about a feeling. I've never waited for anyone to tell me that I was this or that. I simply know what I am for myself. I have a very positive self-esteem as you can see. Everyday I'm working on my fabulousness and yes I know that's not a real word lol! I think everyone is special and deserves to feel that they have purpose.
We have to strive for more and want more for our OWN lives, no one else can want it for you. I don't mind saying that I'm fat and being very boisterous with it. I have as of lately paid close attention to the facial reactions of people when they here me say I'm fat or something along those lines. I know exactly what I am the good and the bad. I just realize that when I do get to the size I want to be that I will still be in this same body just not as wide and heavy; but ultimately it's still me with the same skin. Why not completely love who I am now and after the transformation?
I believe you can be confident without being cocky or conceited. I don't think I'm any better than anyone else I just appreciate myself which sets the bar for others who are in my life. When you allow anyone to enter your life you have to know who you are and what you expect from them. We are all architects of our own character, I say build you exactly the way you see fit and just like any other structure, people who are really interesting in getting in will find a doorway or a window.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon-Paul Brandt~~
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Sunday, March 25, 2012
It's Time!!!!
So I decided it's time. Time for what you might ask? Well it's time for a lot for me, but for starters it's time for me to move forward. I mean really let go of some negative people and things. By holding onto this negativity I've held myself back. You can never blame anyone but yourself for not moving forward. You know how I told you I was just stuck and afraid to fail so therefore I only did enough to get by. Change is not the easiest thing to handle. Sometimes I just feel alone. Alone to fight all these battles and conquer the world. I've armed myself with every tool I know so it's time to go out here and see what I'm capable of. The pains of life became too much for me to bare so I packed on the pounds so that I could hide from the world and ultimately myself.
There is nothing to fear but fear itself but sometimes I feel trapped by the poor decisions I made in the past and sometimes the present. I no longer want to be limited by my body or my thoughts of failure. The only failure I face now is the failure to not try. I used to be so worried about everyone not supporting me but as time has passed I've learned to be grateful for those that do and not worry about those that don't. Why wouldn't you want to see the next person succeed? What do you stand to gain in their failure? I know I'm cut from a different clothe and that doesn't mean I'm always right or perfect. I just recognize that the quickest way to be blessed in your own life is to first help someone else. Yes, I'm venting. I'm mad at myself for sabotaging my weightloss efforts and gaining 11 of those 30 pounds back. I'm disappointed also that there isn't enough support in "our community" for one another. Too much of the "crab" mentality. I'm not saying this applies to everyone I just want everyone, including myself to consider our actions and how we treat others.
Just like bugs at night that are drawn to the light I'm drawn to a higher calling and people that want something more in life and that have compassion and a willingness to help others. I'm done with foolishness, self-doubt, fear, and anything that inhibits me from living to my fullest potential. I want everyone to be successful if they are really trying, I want people to be more humane, I want to live in a society where people aren't killed for no apparent reason. Then, I realize that life is no fairytail and people including myself can only be who they truly are. We don't live in a perfect world or perfect bodies. We live with the opportunities that we create and the choices we make.
Success be it weight loss, career, family, or whatever you define success as is not given it is earned. I used to be so upset when I was told that I choose to be fat. Really? Yeah really! It's true, everyday that I choose not to eat right or exercise and care for my body I choose to be fat. It's a tough pill to swallow but I recognize that it's time to change again and I'm ready. I want more and you should too!!! It's time!!
There is nothing to fear but fear itself but sometimes I feel trapped by the poor decisions I made in the past and sometimes the present. I no longer want to be limited by my body or my thoughts of failure. The only failure I face now is the failure to not try. I used to be so worried about everyone not supporting me but as time has passed I've learned to be grateful for those that do and not worry about those that don't. Why wouldn't you want to see the next person succeed? What do you stand to gain in their failure? I know I'm cut from a different clothe and that doesn't mean I'm always right or perfect. I just recognize that the quickest way to be blessed in your own life is to first help someone else. Yes, I'm venting. I'm mad at myself for sabotaging my weightloss efforts and gaining 11 of those 30 pounds back. I'm disappointed also that there isn't enough support in "our community" for one another. Too much of the "crab" mentality. I'm not saying this applies to everyone I just want everyone, including myself to consider our actions and how we treat others.
Just like bugs at night that are drawn to the light I'm drawn to a higher calling and people that want something more in life and that have compassion and a willingness to help others. I'm done with foolishness, self-doubt, fear, and anything that inhibits me from living to my fullest potential. I want everyone to be successful if they are really trying, I want people to be more humane, I want to live in a society where people aren't killed for no apparent reason. Then, I realize that life is no fairytail and people including myself can only be who they truly are. We don't live in a perfect world or perfect bodies. We live with the opportunities that we create and the choices we make.
Success be it weight loss, career, family, or whatever you define success as is not given it is earned. I used to be so upset when I was told that I choose to be fat. Really? Yeah really! It's true, everyday that I choose not to eat right or exercise and care for my body I choose to be fat. It's a tough pill to swallow but I recognize that it's time to change again and I'm ready. I want more and you should too!!! It's time!!
Monday, March 19, 2012
I Know Exactly What I Want!!
I know I know, it's been over a week. Forgive me, things have been progressing really fast. There is a lot of growth happening in my life right now. I'm still battling back and forth with obesity but I've been winning more than loosing. I've decided that just like I wake up and brush my teeth and comb my hair or my wig (same difference, lmbo) I was going to start confirming everything God has promised me. You know how people say you stand on the word of God. Well just in case you may be a little confused, let me explain exactly what that means. Yeah we're going to church for a little while.
God is not a man that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? Numbers 23:19. The way you stand on the word is by quoting the scriptures and offering the word back to God. Of course God knows HIS word, but do you? I wake up with a level of expectancy everyday! It's no different from our own children. As parents they expect us to feed them, provide shelter for them, clothe them, and if they are doing what we ask and sometimes beyond we reward them with the things they ask for. So their needs and some of their wants are met. The same is true for God and we are His children. Amen!!
Whew! Okay, now that I have that out of the way, I've learned to be very specific and not so vague with what I ask for. I remember when I was younger I would ask for a boyfriend and sure enough that's what I got just a boyfriend. Then I grew a little more and I would ask for a car. You guessed it, that's exactly what I got. Just a car, well a lemon actually lol. Now that I know how to pray more effectively I've seen a major difference in my life. God is the author and finisher of my faith. However, He gave us all free will. A will to hope, believe, and ask for whatever our hearts desire. I wish I could help everyone reach this level. It feels simply amazing to walk under this light. I'm living proof that size doesn't matter. Let who you are shine through even when you feel dark or disappointed. There is something about perseverance and knowing exactly what you want in life that will make all the difference in your world. Stay encouraged and know Rome wasn't built over night!
God is not a man that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? Numbers 23:19. The way you stand on the word is by quoting the scriptures and offering the word back to God. Of course God knows HIS word, but do you? I wake up with a level of expectancy everyday! It's no different from our own children. As parents they expect us to feed them, provide shelter for them, clothe them, and if they are doing what we ask and sometimes beyond we reward them with the things they ask for. So their needs and some of their wants are met. The same is true for God and we are His children. Amen!!
Whew! Okay, now that I have that out of the way, I've learned to be very specific and not so vague with what I ask for. I remember when I was younger I would ask for a boyfriend and sure enough that's what I got just a boyfriend. Then I grew a little more and I would ask for a car. You guessed it, that's exactly what I got. Just a car, well a lemon actually lol. Now that I know how to pray more effectively I've seen a major difference in my life. God is the author and finisher of my faith. However, He gave us all free will. A will to hope, believe, and ask for whatever our hearts desire. I wish I could help everyone reach this level. It feels simply amazing to walk under this light. I'm living proof that size doesn't matter. Let who you are shine through even when you feel dark or disappointed. There is something about perseverance and knowing exactly what you want in life that will make all the difference in your world. Stay encouraged and know Rome wasn't built over night!
Friday, March 9, 2012
A Gigantic Leap of Faith!!!
Faith is such a big word and yet many never stop to take in the full meaning of it. I've spoken with so many people lately that have desires to do more with their life but, like me at times they have put those desires on the back burner. For some it's because of their economic situation and for others it's simply fear of the unknown or the dreaded "what if". For me the definition that I like best is God's in the NIV of the bible "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." So with this description let's disect this. You have to be certain of what "it" is you want. I know it sounds simple huh? Not quite. See, if you send out mixed signals or ask for things that aren't quite clear that's exactly what you will get in return.
You can't fixate on the things that you want as a result of what you asking for. I know because that's exactly what I was doing. I knew what I wanted the end result to be "the benefits" that is, but that's not good enough to actually make it happen. Now being certain of what we do not see, simply use your imagination. As children we are taught to dream and imagine. As we become older we loose site of what dreaming does. Did you know that the brain can't tell the difference between reality and dreams? So why not start thinking outside the box or yourself to manifest some amazing things.
I can not believe everything that is in me! I mean really, I just can't believe it. I never would have thought in a million years that I Charmaine could break the addiction to food but here I am now feeling the best I've felt in almost 10 years and I'm only 32 lol! I didn't know that I had so many dreams, I mean I knew I had ambitions but the things that are starting to show up now are simply surprising. What's shocking me is that it was always there! I was just too scared to ever act on it. I've tested the water and now I'm jumping in head first. It feels good! It's funny how life can be sometimes, you hear all the time how we hold ourselves back. I had to completely rewire my brain and thoughts in order to realize exactly what I wanted in life and how to get it.
I've tried not to put too many irons in the fire as this is a very exciting time for me and I want to do it all! I'm calm and for the first time I'm watching everything I've painted come to life. Can you even imagine? I feel like I have a magic pencil and if I draw it comes to life. With that same pencil I've erased all the things from the past (they no longer count) and my future looks real bright. I'm taking gigantic leaps of faith and you should too! If you are not where you want to be in life or you don't have what you want or even need change your thoughts, take more chances, and step out on faith.
Mark Twain-"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
You can't fixate on the things that you want as a result of what you asking for. I know because that's exactly what I was doing. I knew what I wanted the end result to be "the benefits" that is, but that's not good enough to actually make it happen. Now being certain of what we do not see, simply use your imagination. As children we are taught to dream and imagine. As we become older we loose site of what dreaming does. Did you know that the brain can't tell the difference between reality and dreams? So why not start thinking outside the box or yourself to manifest some amazing things.
I can not believe everything that is in me! I mean really, I just can't believe it. I never would have thought in a million years that I Charmaine could break the addiction to food but here I am now feeling the best I've felt in almost 10 years and I'm only 32 lol! I didn't know that I had so many dreams, I mean I knew I had ambitions but the things that are starting to show up now are simply surprising. What's shocking me is that it was always there! I was just too scared to ever act on it. I've tested the water and now I'm jumping in head first. It feels good! It's funny how life can be sometimes, you hear all the time how we hold ourselves back. I had to completely rewire my brain and thoughts in order to realize exactly what I wanted in life and how to get it.
I've tried not to put too many irons in the fire as this is a very exciting time for me and I want to do it all! I'm calm and for the first time I'm watching everything I've painted come to life. Can you even imagine? I feel like I have a magic pencil and if I draw it comes to life. With that same pencil I've erased all the things from the past (they no longer count) and my future looks real bright. I'm taking gigantic leaps of faith and you should too! If you are not where you want to be in life or you don't have what you want or even need change your thoughts, take more chances, and step out on faith.
Mark Twain-"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
Monday, March 5, 2012
I crave writing to you all like this and I hope you missed me because I missed you, lol! I have so much to say today and I'm not sure where to start. I've had a lot of different things happen this past week. Okay first, I was getting up to take my dad to dialysis last week and boom, I fell! It didn't take me 5 seconds to get up off that hard concrete floor lol. But in those 5 seconds, something happened and I started laughing because normally I throw a pity party. You know, why me syndrome! This time on my way standing up I realized that in life you can fall down but it's what you do after the fall that makes the difference. I know I'm different, but I really had all that go through my mind at that time. I stumbled and tripped over something but I chose to laugh and at that moment I reminded the enemy that he may trip me up sometimes but I'm still going to land on my feet because they are planted firmly in the ground. Hold on, let me shout!!
Okay, now that I'm done with my praise dance let's get down to business. She (that would be me) has lost, drum roll please..............30 lbs!!!!!!! I promise you it's the hardest thing I've ever done and that includes giving birth naturally with no pain medicine (I know I'm pretty strong huh!). I still have a very lonnnnggg way to go but I was so happy to see that the small yet profound changes I have made are finally paying off. I am completely in love with myself lol!! I know it sounds so superficial and conceded but hey if you don't love yourself how can you expect anyone else too? I have a few all natural supplements that have changed my life and are really helping my efforts in burning fat. I'm no doctor so I can't officially give any medical advice and I won't, but if you are curious just email me and I'll divulge what's working for me.
I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and it feels strange. I feel like I'm discovering myself all over again. I've decided to dream with my eyes open this time. I've had them closed for too long. Afraid to live because I was afraid to be hurt or fail. I no longer have that fear. If they said it was impossible then I've proven them wrong. If they said I couldn't do it then they have been proven wrong as well. I have for my entire life taken what people "said I couldn't do" and did it. It's my M/O! It energizes me. I, along with many others who truly love me have said the only thing holding me back is my weight. Not anymore! I no longer will allow this weight to be a crutch of safety. I will simply achieve whatever goals I want to right now while I'm in the process to repositioning my life.
My entire life structure is changing. My thoughts are no longer the same. I'm a new creature emerging from the dust and mar. I've suited up for battle and I'm ready for war but this time I'm not fighting against myself. I'm fighting for myself! We all have dreams and ambitions I just hope you aren't sitting back waiting for "one day" to come. Make that day today and follow your passion or dream! I'll leave you with this quote from Albert Einstein "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Okay, now that I'm done with my praise dance let's get down to business. She (that would be me) has lost, drum roll please..............30 lbs!!!!!!! I promise you it's the hardest thing I've ever done and that includes giving birth naturally with no pain medicine (I know I'm pretty strong huh!). I still have a very lonnnnggg way to go but I was so happy to see that the small yet profound changes I have made are finally paying off. I am completely in love with myself lol!! I know it sounds so superficial and conceded but hey if you don't love yourself how can you expect anyone else too? I have a few all natural supplements that have changed my life and are really helping my efforts in burning fat. I'm no doctor so I can't officially give any medical advice and I won't, but if you are curious just email me and I'll divulge what's working for me.
I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and it feels strange. I feel like I'm discovering myself all over again. I've decided to dream with my eyes open this time. I've had them closed for too long. Afraid to live because I was afraid to be hurt or fail. I no longer have that fear. If they said it was impossible then I've proven them wrong. If they said I couldn't do it then they have been proven wrong as well. I have for my entire life taken what people "said I couldn't do" and did it. It's my M/O! It energizes me. I, along with many others who truly love me have said the only thing holding me back is my weight. Not anymore! I no longer will allow this weight to be a crutch of safety. I will simply achieve whatever goals I want to right now while I'm in the process to repositioning my life.
My entire life structure is changing. My thoughts are no longer the same. I'm a new creature emerging from the dust and mar. I've suited up for battle and I'm ready for war but this time I'm not fighting against myself. I'm fighting for myself! We all have dreams and ambitions I just hope you aren't sitting back waiting for "one day" to come. Make that day today and follow your passion or dream! I'll leave you with this quote from Albert Einstein "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
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